We all have a bit of ADHD to some degree or another. No, I don't mean that in the "bouncing off the walls" sort of way, but more like an inane ability to lose sight of what's important. To lose track of what counts. Life is a bitch and loves to bury us under a hailstorm of curveballs that beat and bruise us so badly, that it's completely understandable that we become distracted with our defenses and forget what it is we are defending in the first place.
I've been talking to several folks who have been going through a real rough time lately. I've been trying to help where I can, provide support and just be the ear that they need. The underlying theme I'm finding is that we are forgetting what matters. Employers, friends, lovers, broken dreams and unfulfilled desires, they all may be gone at any time. I say 'we' because I've lived this myself. As I've said in previous posts, I'm not going to detail everything. Some things just don't need to be shared. But I've had a fairly rough 6 months. I was away all summer. My personal life imploded. Twice. I'm unemployed. And I came very close to losing my life a few weeks ago. Needless to say, things haven't been all unicorns and rainbows in Casa de Ogre. A lot of the advice and support I've been giving have been done through gritted teeth as I was going through identical situations myself, although very few folks have known about it because, simply put, they don't need to. I don't need to burden anyone with my own hailstorm.
The point I'm trying to make is this: Life's complications? Fuck 'em. No, no, no, not in the derogatory sense. I just mean that there are tons of issues that creep up every day. Lady Life tosses speed bumps in front of us almost out of some sort of sadistic glee, just too see if we crack. And if we let it, we will. Some of these challenges are nothing. Maybe a little extra traffic in the afternoon or maybe some asshole was just rude and disrespectful to you. Some are a little more difficult to take on, such as an unforeseen expense at the wrong time or maybe you take ill. Others hit you a bit harder, like the loss of a job or your child has an accident or gets hurt. And yet others really lay the smackdown on you, such as the loss of a loved one, be it because they are no longer among us or they just decided they love another more than you. In any case, we will survive. It will hurt, I'm not saying it won't. However, the key is to wake up every morning and instead of seeing the dark, open your eyes to the light. We are surrounded by wonderful things, our family, our friends, our loved ones. Plus, believe it or not, it's the little things that will make or break you. When you are feeling the pain of loss, don't forget to appreciate what you take for granted. A sunny day. Flowers in bloom. A child's laughter. The smile that comes from a random good deed. Great conversations. A soft pillow. A beautiful song. I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. Once you put a little more into appreciating what specifically matters to you, you will find that the pain you felt throbs just a little less. The stress of needing to find that next job or getting past whatever difficulty that is plaguing you will all of a sudden seem a little less demanding. It won't fix anything for you. But it will make it a bit more bearable. Dwelling on what you can't control just enhances the bad, pushing the good further away. Do what you can, but don't forget that no matter what, it isn't the be-all/end-all of your world. Death is. As long as you still breathe, as long as blood still pumps in your veins, the game isn't over.
We all forget these things. I'm disappointed at how much of it I myself had forgotten, and it took me toeing that line to remember. Don't ever forget what you take for granted, as they may not always be there. You may not always be there. So be sure to remind yourself every day that no matter how bad it feels, there's always a flip side. Take things one step at a time. Cut the negatives from your life, focus on what you have instead of what you don't, and give 110% to everything. The rest? Let the chips fall where they may. Because it isn't about that successful career path. And it isn't about how nice your car is. And love? It's a two way street and no matter how deep your feelings run, no matter how much passion you have and no matter how much you would be willing to endure for their happiness, you can't make the other person reciprocate. You just can't. So if they don't appreciate what you offer, let them go. They may be better off, or they may be more miserable. It doesn't matter as it's their choice. You will be better off. And one day, you will find someone who will appreciate all you have to give.
No comments:
Post a Comment